Didn’t we all have a white-knuckle kind of year? It was a year full of nonstop highs and lows, with no way of predicting the road ahead. I know I did. That’s why I prioritize restoring my inner calm in real-time. That means no more putting my rest and restoration on the back burner, and being proactive about keeping my external stressors at bay. I’m going to share 7 vital tactics with you that will help you build your inner calm, and lead a more peaceful life. We could all use some peace, so let’s go!
1. Love Yourself Unconditionally
When you lack self-love and the confidence that you are making the right decisions, it shows up everywhere. It seeps into every activity and taints your pool of dreams and possibilities. You become your own worst critic. Small missteps become monumental because you don’t give yourself any grace. How can we ever get to a place of calm when we don’t believe in ourselves?
It’s important to support and love yourself as a unique being—one with beautiful imperfections. There is no one on this planet that is just like you, and you need to embrace that. When you can love every molecule of yourself, then you will operate from a foundation of self-love and support. This foundation will activate positive self-talk in stressful times, and pluck you from the abyss of fear and self-doubt. You’ll have a real set of values and standards in place that will serve as your guide.
If you don’t feel like you’ve arrived at that place yet, it’s totally okay. It’s never too late for us to start our self-love journey, and change the narrative of how we view ourselves. We are the only ones who can do it.
Have you ever felt like your life was completely out of control? Like you’re in a volleyball game, and balls are being lobbed over the net constantly whether you are ready or not? We’ve all felt that way at times, and that is why you need a system for dealing with all of the stress that comes your way. If you begin to love and support yourself unconditionally, you will feel entirely capable of handling your stressors. Alternatively, when you are filled with anxiety and self-doubt, those feelings will compound an already stressful situation.
This is an easy one. Block out the negative self-talk and start empowering yourself. You are strong and capable and you can face your stressors head-on. Forget about the critics and our own warped ideas of perfection. You are enough.
2. Tune Out The Noise
There will always be a multitude of distractions competing for our attention. What we choose to let in and how we manage it is key. I have a system that I use for myself that determines the priority in which I handle my stressors. It looks something like this:
This pretty much sums up how I respond to stressors.
Personal Priorities
The priorities that I have for myself, my family, and my friends will always be my first order of business. I address these first, always. For example, things that affect our health are paramount, so I’ll take care of that before addressing a non-urgent work issue (barring professional emergencies of course).
Work Stressors
Let’s be honest, our jobs are our livelihood, so they do matter. When stressful situations come up at work, I ask myself if I am doing my absolute best in the given circumstance, and then I focus on what is controllable. If we worry about every little thing, we will always be stressed, and that is totally unhealthy for us. Be intentional about focusing on what you can control, and the rest will work itself out.
Life Stressors
When miscellaneous stressors come up outside of my two core categories, I prioritize them as needed. Now I’m definitely not saying that there aren’t many other things that might deserve my attention going on in the world. I’m really just speaking about the ways that I manage all of the immediate stressors that come up.
This system has worked for me and helped me build a feeling of inner calm in my life. By being intentional about where I focus my energies, I’m in a better position to manage the events when they present themselves.
3. Stop Reacting To Every Single Thing
I know I know, we’re all so easily triggered nowadays. Our patience is running short, and we are dealing with so many different personalities on a daily basis. I get that.
But has reacting every time someone gets under our skin benefited us in any way? That’s a no for me. I usually end up feeling more stressed long after the offensive conversation is over. This is negative energy that we continue to hold on to.
When people interact with us negatively, our first response is to go into defense mode. Payback time. But what if we actually did nothing? What if we chose to view the incident through a different lens? Maybe that person is in pain and their behavior is more about them than us. Do we diminish ourselves in any way by taking the high road? Absolutely not. We become stronger because we are making a conscious choice not to internalize and react to negativity. Opting out of toxicity will keep you sane. Just walk away.
4. Dismiss The Negativity
Just because someone criticizes or makes a negative comment about you, doesn’t make it so. No one is the authority on you. Period. So dismiss it. This step alone will go a long way toward preserving your inner peace and keep you focused on what really matters, your personal growth.
5. Get Focused
Get focused on you. Take your goals on in bite-sized chunks. I usually choose three main personal goals to focus on per quarter. It’s way more manageable for me than saying, “I’ll have xyz finished in the next couple of weeks”. Sometimes we set deadlines for ourselves that we know we’ll never meet just to feel somewhat productive. This contributes to our stress levels unnecessarily.
So start by setting three bite-sized goals and direct your energies there. When stress finds its way to your door, you can deal with it accordingly based on your priorities.
6. Be Intentional With Your Time
This brings me to time. Are you being intentional with it? One thing that I like to do is schedule blocks of time before and after work each day, to give myself the space to focus on my personal goals. How can we meet our goals if we don’t make time for them?
There were so many years where I felt like I was surviving vs. living. Because of this, I was never calm. I was always in defense mode, and my incoming stressors would hit me like a tidal wave. The reason this was happening is that I wasn’t managing my life as a whole, I was only riding out the stressors. That’s no way for any of us to live.
So I say this to you. Make sure you make time for all of the facets of your life. You are worth it.
7. Be Consistent
Last but certainly not least…be consistent. Consistency is crucial. We need to commit and follow through for ourselves if we really want to obtain inner calm. It will take some action on our part, and require breaking some of our old life management habits, but it will be worth it. Open yourself up to the behaviors that will be conducive to creating a life of peace. Stay in it for the long haul, and watch your whole world shift.
These 7 steps will help get you there. Your inner calm is waiting…
If you want to keep building on those good vibes, check out my previous post:
“Leading With Gratitude” https://herpicketfence.link/8ys
