As a parent, when you are suddenly confronted with the reality of an empty nest it can be jolting. It is a shock to your system that threatens to upend your sense of equilibrium. When you are a single parent, it can be even more devastating. This post is about coming to grips with the inevitable empty nest as a single parent and finding your purpose as an empty nester.
The Dream Team
Even if you are actively coparenting with your ex, raising your child as a single parent has it’s own endearing qualities. It’s just the two of you against the world, and every day you are creating memories as one half of the family unit.
Singular Focus
If you are a single mother who has also chosen to put her dating life on hold, your normal hierarchy of priorities has been upended when your nest empties. Many of us struggled to balance the demands of motherhood, and we didn’t necessarily have time to accommodate a relationship, let alone introduce that person to our children.
Your focus becomes laser-like from the moment your child takes their first step until they leave your home. These important milestones are usually experienced with a partner, so when you are going it alone, they become that much more meaningful.
Although it can be isolating at times, single parenting is extremely rewarding. I reveled in the opportunity to be fully present for my son, and I immersed myself in his world. Each new discovery that he made brought me a tremendous amount of joy, and I knew that there was no place I would rather be.
We were besties, and as he grew so did our bond. He knew that he could count on me no matter what, and I wouldn’t trade the stability that gave him for anything.
Reality Check
This is where the bittersweet part comes in. As you watch your child complete each new milestone, you feel a mixture of emotions. Although you are elated by their growth, and how far you’ve come together, you also know that they are steadfastly growing away from you. The truth is, as time goes on, they won’t need you as much.
The Friend Factor
Another part of the letting go process is allowing them to develop and vet their own friendships. You eventually learn to let them become their own people independent of you while keeping the communication lines open.
One of the challenging parts of parenting, especially when they become teenagers, is allowing them the space to grow without excessively projecting our expectations on them. We have to believe that we have given them the tools they need to make the right decisions.
Your Next Chapter
So here you are, sitting in your living room after your child’s high school graduation. A graduation banner hangs over the doorway, and the leftover cake from last night’s graduation party sits on the counter. So now what?
Now is the time to start doing the work of figuring out what your life looks like now that you have so much free time on your hands. What is actually going to make you happy moving forward?
Your Passion Is Your Purpose
One of the things that I started to do as my son got older, is to be more intentional about pursuing my passions. When I started to pursue my passions, I felt a renewed sense of purpose. I began building my life out in a meaningful way, so that as my son became more independent I had activities to fill that void.
Dealing with an empty nest is never easy, but we have so much more to give in this life. We just need to find our passion.
Get ready to set your inner child free because she’s been waiting to get out there!
If you have a moment, check out my previous post “Single Mom Stigma”
https://herpicketfence.com/are-you-ready-to-become-a-single-mother/
