We all know how challenging it can be to maintain friendships with life pulling us in so many different directions. Even something as simple as returning a phone call can be taxing at times. Our true friendships are worth the effort though. These friendships have withstood the test of time and continue to nourish our souls. Not all friendships are created equal though, and some friends will only be friends for a season.
Weeding out your seasonal friends can be tricky, so I’m here to help. Here are four types of friends that may not be with you for the long haul.
Bad Influence Britt
Britt is everything you are not, and not in a good way. Her specialty is accumulating vices and risky behaviors that she can encourage her friends to participate in. After all, misery loves company. At first, she’s the fun cool friend, but over time you begin to realize that there is no bottom to her exploits. Hanging out with Britt is like slowly being pulled toward the deep end of the pool.
The pushing of friendship boundaries may start off innocently. Maybe it’s Britt’s insistence that you make one more stop after a night out when you know you should be making your way home to your family. Or maybe it’s when she insists on being the designated driver for the night, only to join you at the bar later to do shots. To avoid the impending disaster, you end up ubering it home and leaving your car behind until the morning. Fun.
If you are one of the lucky ones, you’ll be able to get out of this friendship unscathed before she drives you Thelma and Louise style off a cliff.
Frenemy Felicia
The friend that keeps you guessing. Felicia is part of a larger friend group. On the outside, everything is cool and you routinely hang out, swap stories, and give each other dating advice.
At some point, however, her true ambitions are laid bare when she commits some unthinkable act that real friends just don’t do. Maybe she hit on your boyfriend or you caught her trashing you behind your back. Whatever the case, you are finally made aware of the competitive venom that has been coursing through her veins the entire time.
With frenemies, their main goal is to gain access and conquer. By pretending to genuinely care about you, they are close enough to get all of the information that they need to betray you.
If you have a friend like Felicia that you have bad vibes about, go with your gut and phase them out. Completely. Friends like Felicia will eventually reveal themselves, but why waste your time wondering?
Undermining Kelly
Kelly is a master at what she does. Never wanting her friends to get too full of themselves, she specializes in delivering brilliant one-liners to knock them down a peg or two. Her delivery is sure to leave you with your jaw on the floor and a knot in your stomach.
I’ll give you an example of some of Kelly’s work.
You invite Kelly over to the Condo that you’ve just closed on, and you are super excited to share your milestone. As you show her around, she weighs in gleefully with plenty of oooh’s and aah’s to convince you that she is actually happy for you.
Then it happens. As you are walking her out, she turns and delivers the gut punch. She smiles sweetly and says “I love your new home. It’s a little dated, but hey it’s yours!”. Just like that she has stolen your moment, and reduced it to a consolation prize.
Kelly is always there to remind you that somehow you just aren’t making the cut. Guess what? It’s not you, it’s actually her. The Kellys’ of this world are notoriously insecure, and they undermine everyone else because they don’t feel good about themselves.
If you hang around her long enough, you will realize that her only true joy is making you feel bad, and who needs that? When I come across a “Kelly”, I head in the other direction entirely.
Happy Hour Harper
Then you have “Just For Happy Hour Harper”. She is the friend that you can go out for drinks with but who can never be counted on in a crisis. If you were stranded and needed help, Harper would quietly send your call straight to voicemail.
Harper also isn’t a good listener. If you try to talk to her about your breakup, she will change the subject or leave you on hold to take another call. Friendship with Harper is always a one-way street.
These kinds of friendships are sort of okay in your twenties and MAYBE your early thirties, but as grown women why bother with her nonsense at all? I’d rather spend my time with the friend that made sure that I got home safe when my margarita ended up being a little too strong. #RealSisterhood.
There you have it. Your four friend types who will never go the distance in a friendship marathon.
- Britt will get you into trouble
- Felicia will most certainly stab you in the back at some point
- Kelly will give you an ulcer
- Harper will leave you stranded
These days I can see a fake coming a mile away. Watch them put all of their cards on the table and walk away. Stick with your real ones…
If you have a moment, check out my previous post “The Crazymakers…Toxic Co-workers”
https://herpicketfence.com/the-crazymakers/
