Over the past few years, we have all been trying to restore peace and balance in our lives during these tumultuous times. It’s affecting all of us in so many ways. Going inward, and working on our inner peace can definitely help. Here are some of the things that I’ve heard from my colleagues and friends:
- Everything has become unmanageable
- The weekends aren’t enough anymore
- Burnout is real
- The stress is overwhelming
- I’m being hit from all sides
We have been in a continuous state of stress and shock, and I’ve found myself struggling with the impact the current stressors have had on my life. This post is about going inward and finding calm during periods of stress in 3 steps. We will discuss how you can stay present in your own life, and manage stress when it shows up on your doorstep. If you are living on your own (like me), restoring your peace will be fully on you, so read on!
Step 1- Identify Your Triggers
To make your stress more manageable and create an isle of calm in life’s storms, you first need to identify your triggers. Write down which situations in your life have been causing you the most stress. There will always be many mini contributors to your overall stressful state, but if you think about it, there are probably 3 major things that really upset your equilibrium. Those 3 things are what you need to focus on.
Your next step will be to write down how you feel when these events/people/circumstances show up in your life, and what your usual response is. I’ve learned that although I may not be able to completely eliminate a specific stressor from my life, I can definitely change my response to it. Finally, list all of the small contributors or peace destroyers that contribute to the big stressors. I call this the “Stress Tsumani”.
Once you are aware of your stressors and how you’ve been responding to them, you can come up with a plan to center yourself, so they don’t hold sway over your life and your potential for happiness. By centering yourself, I mean bringing calm to your emotions.
Step 2- Recalibrate Your Thinking And Behaviors
Control Your Response
We’ve heard this many times, but it really helps not to get too far into the weeds with everything. We are so worried about the big picture, that we sometimes lose the present. When you are confronted with one of your major stressors, don’t get overwhelmed, just think about the small things you can do to alleviate that stress which is within your control. We are never going to control everything, so some things will need to be let go. Instead of a typical response of panic and doom, put the uncontrollable to the side, and focus on the little things that you can do in a positive vein. When you are first hit with a major stressor, before you let the wheels come off entirely, take a deep breath, acknowledge the situation, and then focus on what you can control. It’s all we have.
Self Talk
I find it helpful to give myself a little self-coaching through stressful experiences. Remind yourself that you can and will do what you can to control the things that are within your power. That in and of itself is restorative, as it redirects your focus to a search for positive resolutions.
Remove Negative Energy
Is there a friend or colleague who loves to see you struggling and off-balance? Limit your interaction with them. If that’s not completely attainable, work to neutralize the impact that their interactions have on your current state. You can do this by remembering that you are a valuable and unique human being, and they are just one person in this world. Maybe it’s someone else that is bringing negative energy into your life. Whatever the case is, seek to limit that particular interaction.
Find Your Joy
What truly brings you joy these days? Is it taking a hot bubble bath after work, or sitting in Starbucks on a Saturday with an espresso and a good book? Whatever you love to do, do more of it. It will soothe your soul during these tough times.
Positive Rituals
If you start doing the things that bring you joy habitually, these activities will continually bring you back to a place of inner calm and peace. You’ll be able to counteract some of the negative energy that stress routinely brings into our lives.
Step 3- A State Of Enlightenment
Now that you have arrived at this new enlightened state, start finding everyday pleasures and experiences that will make your life more meaningful, and be present in them. For a long time, I was surviving vs. thriving. I work every day to change that.
Be Present
How many times have you gone out to do something fun, and you were kind of there in body, but your mind was in a million different places? When we are distracted, we cheat ourselves out of the beauty of the present. Be present for every second, and allow yourself to truly enjoy that activity. Did you ever notice people that are fully present in the current situation? When you speak to them their gaze never strays, and they aren’t constantly checking their phones. That is what I aim for, and that one practice alone is calming and centering.
Handle Your Stressors
When stress walks through your door, take a deep breath, and handle what you can control.
Develop Your Inner Calm
What activities can you practice that will offer you immediate calm in the face of a stressor? Find new ways to stratify your stressors into what is important vs. what is not. Resist the urge to download what is uncontrollable into your hard drive (your inner self).
Make Your Goals Paramount
Although many things are being thrown at us on a daily basis, never lose sight of your goals. They can be a welcome distraction during times of stress. Your goals are an area of positivity that you can focus on that is just for you.
Going inward during times of stress can really ground you. There are always going to be things that pop up and threaten to take over our headspace, but our response to them is EVERYTHING.
