Is companionship overrated? In our society, continual companionship has always been regarded as a necessary component of happiness. That’s what we’ve been led to believe, and I’ve never really questioned it. Lately, though, I’ve begun to give much more thought to what will actually make me happy:
- Faith/Family/Friends- Absolutely
- Money- That’s a no
- A Plus One- Not so sure
Having someone by your side is definitely a value add in many ways, but it’s definitely not going to be an answer to all of your problems. With that in mind, let’s go over the pros and cons.
Plus One Positives
- We’re In This Together- It does feel good to have a partner to explore life with, and you can’t miss with two incomes
- The Balance- Having someone around to balance you out and tell you when you are being extra is definitely helpful
- He’s With Me- A permanent plus one for all mandatory social events
There are many legitimate reasons for us to lean into companionship, especially as we get older. No matter how self-sufficient you are, at some point, you will need someone for something. This can be hard to reconcile for many of us that are used to going it alone.
Life tends to come at you fast, and over time, our friend ranks thin. We also begin to suffer personal losses, and the fragility of life is laid bare. In light of that, our time and who we spend it with becomes super important. If you are able to spend your time with someone who truly gets you, it can be a beautiful thing.
Plus One Negatives
Consideration
While you are in a relationship, you must always consider the other person. If your relationship is healthy, it’s all good, but what about the relationships that become unbalanced? What happens when one partner begins mistreating the other? How far does that consideration extend?
This is the scariest part of relationships for me. I don’t know about you, but when the relationship starts to feel like a job, I’m already looking at the front door. The union becomes an albatross hanging around your neck, and your companion then becomes your captor.
Me, Myself & I
Although I love the idea of exploring life with someone, I’ve also grown more comfortable doing things alone. The same things that used to fill me with dread like eating dinner solo, are suddenly doable. When you arrive at a place of self-love and acceptance, the security blanket that you needed when you were younger falls away.
Personal Growth Factor
Pouring all of your energies into any relationship, especially a dysfunctional one, can really hinder your personal growth. I’m all about personal freedom, and having space to grow and explore my options. Good relationships allow you to do that.
A New Vibe
That being said, what do we really need? As a single woman who likes her space, I embrace the idea of maintaining your autonomy if it suits you. A different vibe is created when you come together because you want to be there vs. needing to be there. Because you are staying whole and true to yourself, the threat of getting lost in the confines of a relationship lessens.
Figure out what situation is going to work best for you, and let your plus one get in where they fit in.
If you have a moment, check out my previous post “I belong to me…questions about commitment”
https://herpicketfence.com/i-belong-to-me-questions-about-commitment/
