Where are you right now in your life? Are you happy? Are you fulfilled? Wherever it is that you’ve landed at this point in time, it’s where you are supposed to be. Celebrate it and don’t let anyone or anything make you feel unworthy. We are and have always been a work in progress. Self-acceptance comes first and everything else follows in time. So I like to say, “meet me where I am.”
In My Own Skin
At this point, I’d like to think that I have arrived at a place of tremendous self-discovery. I’ve taken care to figure out who I am as an individual and what is important to me. I’ve also become a woman who has learned some hard lessons and confronted some truths about how I show up in this world.
I don’t have any regrets, but if I did, it would be not asking for more guidance at a younger age. Instead, I slogged through the inner turmoil that comes with figuring it all out on my own.
This is why I write. I write for the younger women who are as lost as I was, and the older women who are trying to follow the trajectory that their lives have taken. I write for the woman who feels alone in her walk, and the ones who feel diminished by those who invalidate her path. The women who second guess their true instincts in order to fit into society’s mold.
It all comes back to one central theme. Being comfortable in your own skin. Thorns and all. Come meet me where I am.
Love and Self Acceptance
Do you love yourself? I mean really love yourself? From the top of your head to the soles of your feet, plus all of the inner beauty that your spirit holds? Do you love everything that makes you unique? If you don’t, you should.
We are all imperfect beings prone to error and mistakes, but until you accept that, you will always undermine your true worth. Realize that no one is keeping score but you. Life is about self-discovery and growth, and as long as we keep learning our growth is inevitable. Give yourself some grace and accept your flaws.
When you are unconditional in the love and grace that you show yourself, you arrive at a place of self-acceptance. A place where you show up confidently, flaws and all. Where you believe strongly that you have something meaningful to offer in this life.
As a twenty-something, I struggled with my feelings of self-worth, and as a result, self-acceptance came slowly. I saw my flaws as something that diminished me and that I needed to keep hidden. Even from myself. On the other hand, when you wholly accept yourself, you announce yourself differently to the world. You allow yourself to be vulnerable and share your flaws freely, secure in the fact that they don’t define you. Your strong feelings of self-worth become the nucleus from which you operate.
Love yourself now. Celebrate yourself now. The rest will come.
Boundaries
No matter where you are on your self-love journey, boundaries will always be important. Accepting yourself unconditionally means accepting the fact that in order for you to experience inner peace, certain measures need to be in place. It’s really whatever makes you feel comfortable and safe.
When you are comfortable in your own skin you are able to confidently communicate to others which things work for you and which don’t. Don’t we always protect the ones we love? Protecting yourself is no different, and setting healthy boundaries for yourself is part of that. Always be clear about what is important to you, and which things are deal breakers. When you are in a place of self-love and acceptance, you have no problem walking away from things that aren’t right for you.
The Complement
Once you’ve truly leaned into your sense of self you become a much better partner. No one is completing you, they are merely complementing what you already have going on. Or, if you’re single, you exist in an empowered state where you are enough.
Independence
It’s important to only align yourself with partners that appreciate the independent self-evolved woman that you have become. It’s very easy to get lost in a relationship when your focus shifts to everything that is important to the other person.
When your partner allows you to be and appreciates your perspective, a relationship really thrives. They must be able to respect who you are independent of them and vice versa. By doing this, you build a friendship that is based upon respect for who you both truly are as individuals.
The whole “You complete me” line is nonsense for the empowered woman. The new line should be “I want you in my life, but I don’t need you in my life.” You are bringing two great lives together and figuring out how you can grow as a team. The relationship begins to have an additive effect and everyone wins. There are no wins when one person feels diminished. When you need to make yourself small in a relationship to survive, it’s definitely a red flag that signifies an unhealthy relationship.
You have now built a relationship based on truth, trust, and acceptance. You are being seen authentically and loved unconditionally.
Alignment
When you are in alignment with yourself and your partner, you can begin to create new experiences. Your fears of inadequacy disappear because you know what you bring to the table, and he does too. You might also want to check out one of my previous posts “Waiting for permission” https://herpicketfence.com/waiting-for-permission-an-unconventional-life/.
The Bottom Line
Ladies, whether you are single or partnered, we will continue to be okay. We are strong and resilient, and our lives don’t need to revolve around who we are partnered with. Live your truth. There is nothing else. Maybe the right one who truly gets you will come along, maybe he won’t. Either way, we’re good.
❤ Stephanie
