The New Relationship Vibe…

Dating is getting complicated these days, and women are becoming more and more choosy about what we want to invest our time in. Women are doing more outside of our homes career-wise, but have men’s expectations of what we should be doing inside of the home any different? Let’s talk about the new relationship vibe.

Old School Vibes

The 50’s version of marriage and housewives included women doing all of the cooking and cleaning, as well as taking care of our families. Period. A woman’s main focus was her home life. Sure there were outliers who pursued their own careers even back then, but the expectation was always that you would get married and have kids.

Women couldn’t even get their own credit cards until 1974. Imagine that! These days we can shop online with abandon, but back then I guess women had to save whatever was left after the gas bill was paid or ask their husbands for an allowance (eek!). My how things have changed.

Inside/Outside

I grew up as one of four children. There were two boys and two girls, and traditional roles were in full effect. My father would have the boys do all of the work outside, while the girls would be responsible for all of the household chores. This was the unofficial inside/outside rule. I swear it still reigns supreme today. Are men expected to do much in the house nowadays? I would say no. For some men, any mention of laundry invokes panic.

CEO

Back then (or maybe even now), men were the captain of everything. They controlled much of the household finances and could routinely expect to have their meal prepared for them after they slid into home base after a long workday.

How The Game Changed

About that 9-5 Life…

Women are truly doing their thing in the workplace. We are breaking barriers and elbowing our way into boardroom seats that were previously reserved for men. Go, ladies! With that new life came great gains, and we were able to contribute to our household’s bottom line. This also gave us a chance to find fulfillment beyond our home lives.

With these changes came great sacrifice as well. Because we were now working outside of the home, there was a direct impact on the amount of time that we had to spend with our families. That part was tough because, for the first time, we were in jeopardy of missing the important milestones in our children’s lives.

Household 2.0

Suddenly, we were putting in eight-hour days and arriving home exhausted. Our homes began to show signs of the strain, and we were forced to try and keep up by any means necessary. Weekends were now reserved for laundry, errands, and random family outings. Cooking every night was now unrealistic, and many of us began batching meals on Sunday for the week ahead. Multi-tasking was mandatory.

The fortunate were able to hire help, but many of us were forced to move forward in the duality of their new role. In my opinion, things didn’t change that much for men, but women were expected to do more.

Split Decision

These days the time that we have with our children is precious. When we arrive home after a long day at work, we want to spend that time nurturing our children and watching them grow. I know that part of that nurturing is providing a healthy household, but this time we are doing it under modern constraints.

Men have gotten used to the 50’s style of nurturing that used to be a given when women stayed at home. Many men still want their food cooked, clothes ironed, etc. All the while, women are working similar hours, causing us to triple down on our responsibilities. And newsflash, this expectation doesn’t exist solely within the married set. Single men also want the wifey perks, way before that ring finds it’s way to your finger.

The Remix

Complete Yourself

First of all, let’s get real about the fact that no one completes anyone. When you enter into a relationship, we should all be showing up as our whole selves. I mean fully self-sufficient units. There is nothing more attractive than a partner who is not looking for the other person to be their everything.

The Balanced Household

The real move is the balanced household. One where women and men divide household responsibilities. It’s especially important if women are working outside of the home. Many men expect women to “keep house”, while also making sure that their tie is straight.

I’m talking about a beautiful thing called personal responsibility in a relationship. Men have already been raised and nurtured by their mothers, and we can’t be that for them. Have we ever expected them to make sure our clothes were laid out for the next day?

The new vibe is a partnership where antiquated expectations are thrown out of the window. We work hard, so we are deserving of an equal partnership with a self-sufficient man who is not looking to be taken care of.

Now let me say this…there is nothing wrong with showing love and care for your significant other, but when it veers into complete dependency, I’m gone.

So ladies, put the apron away and grab that remote control. It’s time for your man to make YOU dinner.

If you have a moment, check out my previous post “Battling Burnout”

https://herpicketfence.com/battling-burnout/

❤️ Stephanie