When you are raising a son, you have the amazing opportunity to mold and shape this human being who is wired so different from you into a man. Let’s talk about the joys of raising a son.

The Queen’s Role

When boys are young, a mother has several key roles:

• Protector- One of your biggest responsibilities is going to be keeping your son safe. Boys are super physical, so while you are talking to your bestie on the phone, he’ll be performing various feats of physical dexterity. Good luck
• Nurturer- We are also the ultimate nurturers. We pick them up when they fall and being that soft place to fall when they have a bad day
• My Mom Is A Queen- This is important because it is their very first relationship with a female. If your relationship is negative it could affect how they interact with women in the future

The Prince’s Journey

As boys mature, nurturing is still important, but the amount that you give them will change. It’s important for them to feel empowered to make choices, so giving them some small decisions to make will help prepare them for the bigger ones that they will make later on in life.

Here are 3 things that are important once your boys reach adolescence:

• Give them space: Okay, I admit that this part can be hard. You don’t want to be a helicopter mom, but you also want to make sure that they are okay. I can remember my son in grade school asking me to give him time to relax after school before asking him a million questions about his day. I was taken aback at first, but then I understood. As nurturers, our first instinct is to dive right into the Q&A session. I’m actually glad that he kept it real with me because I had no idea that my helicopter had come in for a landing (smile).
• Try To Understand Their Needs: During adolescence, their needs are not going to always be evident so it’s important to keep the lines of communication open. With my son, I felt that it was important to give him a framework to operate within. For instance, I would say “What do you think you need to do for X” and let him fill in the blanks. This does two things: It makes him consider his options and also empowers him to vocalize his needs specifically
• Coach Him On Emotional Availability: One of the things that I have never agreed with is how the importance of emotional development is de-emphasized in boys. Boys are coached to hold in their frustrations and disappointments. Guess what…this leads to emotionally unavailable adults who do not know how to effectively communicate with their significant other. I think coaching boys on emotional availability sets them up for success socially.

The King

Once they reach adulthood our role shifts yet again. They’ve found a familiar cadence that has been propelling them through life. They’ve also probably been in a relationship or two so we have become that ever-important sounding board for their personal relationships.

I actually think mothers play a huge role in helping their sons understand women. “Men Are From Mars Women Are From Venus” was written for a reason!

If you have a moment, check out my previous post “Mommy Wars”

https://herpicketfence.com/what-keeps-us-apart-the-mommy-wars/

❤️ Stephanie