The number of single and successful women has steadily been increasing over time. Gone are the days when we needed to depend on men for everything. So let’s get into what single independent women might actually want from men.
Current Situation…
Evolution
Let’s start with the fact that we have evolved as women and are continually elevating ourselves. Many of us are pursuing our education and becoming forces to be reckoned with in the workplace. This has completely upended society’s rule book on how things are supposed to flow. Men are supposed to be the ultimate breadwinners right? Keep reading…
Crushing It At Work But…
When you do have a successful career, many pressures come along with that. You might find yourself working longer hours and having just enough energy after work to kick off your heels and collapse on the couch. It’s one thing if you’re just taking care of yourself, but when you have to meet the needs of others as well, the game changes. That’s when the feeling of overwhelm creeps in.
Bills, Bills, Bills
PSA for men: Please understand that as independent women we are already taking care of our own finances. We’re not necessarily looking for that kind of help. We’re already doing it. I can speak from personal experience and say that the idea of putting my financial well-being in someone else’s hands has always been completely unnerving to me. When you’re used to balancing your own books, that old-school ideal of men controlling your finances doesn’t compute.
The New Eco-System
The modern ecosystem looks like this…independent women now have full-on personal and professional lives, we travel and eat alone sometimes, and we are intentional about our time. We are hanging our own pictures on the wall, and buying power drills on Amazon. Just saying. I’m not bashing men at all, but I am level-setting expectations.
Complement Me
So where do men fit in with modern independent women? That is a very real question that I’ve felt the need to explore in my own life.
Positive Vibes Only
First of all, because we are constantly evolving, and many of us are aware of the brevity of life, we’ve become uber-serious about surrounding ourselves with positivity. That includes the men we choose to be in relationships with.
If you are interested in dating an independent woman, just know that negativity and nonsense are unwelcome. Come to the table with peace and positivity and it becomes a relationship worth considering.
Show Me
When you are living your best life as a single woman, for you to consider upsetting your status quo, the relationship has to be a value add. You have to come to the table with something that we are already not doing for ourselves.
This isn’t just about material things. Your presence must lend itself to value. Are you making our load heavier or lighter? If my life is harder within a relationship, it’s not worth the headache.
Boundaries
Independent women are used to doing their own thing, so boundaries are also important. Our boundaries must always be respected. Coming into our lives and crowding our space is a no-go. I need to be slow-walked into giving up a bit of my autonomy or I’m out. Independent women are used to freedom, and no one is going to go willingly into a cage.
Seamless
Trust
Trust is huge because we must feel comfortable rolling the dice and integrating you into our lives. An independent woman must be able to trust you to make it all worth it.
Authenticity
Do her a favor and keep it a buck (100%). When you are a shot caller (which we are ladies!), you don’t have the time for games and misrepresentation in relationships. A man who is interested in being around for the long haul needs to be honest at a bare minimum.
Friendship
Be an amazing friend, like seriously. We aren’t looking for fathers, competitors, or cheaters. We do not need a placeholder that’s going to waste our time. Be real and be supportive. Full stop.
So if you are looking to date an independent woman, I have a word of advice. Come correct or don’t come at all…
If you have a moment, check out my previous post “Meet Me Where I Am” https://herpicketfence.com/meet-me-where-i-am/
