Ok, so raise your hand if you are a single parent who is thinking about plunging into the dating pool, but hasn’t quite worked up the nerve to do so. Girl, I’ve been sitting on the side of the pool for a minute. It’s time to talk about dating and single moms.
Current Situation
In this life, we are operating within a finite amount of time. As a single parent, you become ultra-aware of that. Since we are covering all the bases, life is a balancing act of meeting our child’s needs while keeping the lights on. Who can relate?
I always wondered how much time would be left over for a relationship, if any at all. My son has always been and continues to be my priority. Any potential relationship would fall much lower on my priority list, and I’m not even sure how that would work.
It’s Complicated…
One of the things that I strive for as a human is staying continually present, and I’ve found that to be super important as a parent. Kids grow up so fast, and I am fully aware that they become adults within the blink of an eye. For that reason, I don’t want any distractions around that would interfere with me being fully present for my child.
The way I’m wired, I have a hard time reconciling how to be an active contributor in a relationship and still be a fully present parent. Whoever has the answer, please come to the front!
Okay…there’s something else too. Do we ever want to expose our children to people we are “dating”? Even after you’ve been dating a while, it seems like a monumental task. I could see there being many positives to the interaction, but if the relationship goes south, there is no rolling the tape back.
A Path Forward
I think dating is doable…
When It Makes Sense
I think that if you have the time, and you are at a place in life where you want to be in a relationship, it can be a good thing.
How It Makes Sense
You can decide to introduce them to your children if you are comfortable with it. If you feel like keeping those two lives separate, that’s okay too.
When You Know What You Need
Before you go into a new relationship, figure out what you are looking to gain from it. When you do that, if it does fall short, you can reconsider whether it’s even worth hanging around for.
We may need to step out on faith and see what happens. Nothing in life is guaranteed, and at some point we have to allow a little vulnerability into the equation…
If you have a moment, check out my previous post “Finding Purpose As An Empty Nester”
https://herpicketfence.com/finding-purpose-as-an-empty-nester/
